Big Finish Audio drama, August 2003
The premise of this audio is that the Valeyard wins the battle with the Doctor and goes across the universe, causing chaos as he bangs around the universe. He commits accidental suicide so how does he even exist? The Time Lords, or what’s left of them, send Melanie Jane Bush to try to stop him. Though he’s already destroyed himself, he’s on a rampage with a cohort of Ellie. He’s all about this doomsday weapon thing but why bother destroying the universe? That’s never really clear to me.
Boy, he is really caught up on a time loop where he tries to prevent himself from killing himself and back further to prevent another death and prevent him from hurting himself. Paradox central! With Mel trying to chase him down, that’s for sure. It’s like the Doctor without morals to stop him destroying people and things. And the Valyard keeps being outwitted by the Time and the Universe, going back and killing each version of the Doctor before him.
Pieces of him keep dying because he keeps killing off the Doctor. It ends up being all about the possibilities and probabilities. This is the alternate reality where the Valeyard wins and he figures out the paradox that the Doctor is avoiding with his travels. And he decides that to avoid the paradox, he must stay still and never move again. Fear of the universe destroying itself so it’s all by accident the universe is destroyed? So they have to stay there, in the console room of the TARDIS, as long as it takes for the universe to repair itself from the damage he’s caused.
Moral of the story? Be glad the Doctor defeated the Valeyard! And Mel should just kill him and be done with it. Maybe that would fix things? Difficult to say but she doesn’t even give the possibility a glimmer of a chance. It’s better than waiting out time repairing itself! According to Wikipedia, the story's title comes from Romeo and Juliet and the complete line is "He jests at scars that never felt a wound." Apt, I think. Because he just doesn’t feel the wound until it’s too late! Michael Jayston is brilliant as the Valeyard, too, reprising his role from the 80s. Nicely done! Made my brain hurt…
Michael Jayston (The Valeyard), Bonnie Langford, Anthony Keetch (Vansell), Juliet Warner (Ellie Martin)
writer/director: Gary Russell